How on Earth is this News?

America is shocked by a “racy” video that has surfaced of a young Miley Cyrus dancing and grinding into the crotch of openly homosexual Adam Shankman, at a wrap party last year.

I’m all for Miley bashing because she’s a self absorbed precocious little kid who consistently strives to present herself as a 10 despite the fact that she’s clearly a 4 (at best.) She's about as sexually appealing as a mom wiping muck from the side of your mouth with a spit drenched kleenex, so the idea that this video is “shocking” or “too sexual” is ridiculous.

When I was 15 years old I was getting blowjobs in the forest near my high school and taking the virginity of attractive girls while their parents briefly stepped out for 15 minutes to buy a carton of milk at the grocery store.

So if you really think about the Miley video, I think you'll agree that I was pretty fantastic.